


Disobeying Orders

by storytimewritings



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Philinda - Freeform, Philinda 48 Hours, Philinda 48-Hour Identical Promptathon, rehashing old arguments, spoilers for s2 ep 2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-31
Updated: 2014-10-31
Packaged: 2018-02-23 08:37:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2541290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storytimewritings/pseuds/storytimewritings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for Philinda 48 Hours</p>
<p>Prompt: "Don’t you dare!"</p>
<p>Additional details: Must be spoken by either Phil or Melinda, and fic can only involve those two characters…nobody else allowed (others can be mentioned, but not present).</p>
<p>Based on the sneak peek for s2 ep 2 when May goes after Creel. Phil confronts May after she disobeys his orders.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Disobeying Orders

**Author's Note:**

> I thought it was a good place to start for Philinda to confront their past issues and let out their emotions a bit.

She’s back.

He grits his teeth. Prepares himself for what he’s about to say. For what he’s about to get himself into. Because she’s not going to like what he wants to say to her. The last time he was this harsh, he’d just thought that she had betrayed him. That she was working for the enemy. He’d projected his own emotions onto her, blaming her for how he felt, when he should’ve trusted her. He’s ready to do it again, if it means keeping her safe.

‘Agent May. In my office. NOW!’

He sits behind his desk, looking down at his hands. He doesn’t need to watch May come through the door to know how angry she is. He can hear it in her footsteps. That in itself tells him that this is going to be a tough conversation.

She comes right out with it. ‘You want to tell me why you used that tone with me, in front of the whole team, huh?’

‘Take a seat please, May.’

‘You have a problem with me, tell me! But don’t start that in front of the team, especially when you were the one going on about “providing the team with leadership stability”. You can’t have it both ways, Coulson!’

‘I said. Take. A. Seat.’

Refusing, she stubbornly crosses her arms.

He sighs, continues, ‘This is about you disobeying a direct order, Agent May.’

‘I’d do it again.’

‘Really? So I suppose then I won’t be able to leave you in charge of the next mission since you seem to be so incapable of following orders.’

‘I made a judgement call. Did what was best for the team.’

‘No Agent May. I am the Director, and as such, you are to follow my strict instructions. Next time do your goddamn job and listen!’

A brief flash of hurt flickers across her face, so brief, he almost missed it. But she recovers swiftly, masking her face into a cool indifference.

Scarily quiet, May responds, ’Don’t you dare! I have never, not once, stopped doing my job. I’ve always been here for you, watching your back.’

The calm and deliberation she exudes frustrates him. It’s always frustrated him how collected she can make herself appear, hiding all her emotions deep inside. How she can fake anything, making it so difficult to get a read on her.

‘Is that what you call your betrayal? Working for Fury behind my back. Is that how you justified all those lies? By telling yourself that you were watching my back. And don’t you tell me again how you care so damn much! If you really did, you wouldn’t have lied to me like that!’

He can see his words getting under her skin, removing the mask she normally uses, bringing her feelings to the surface, for once. Perhaps that’s why he said all that, because he wanted to see her feel, to see her angry, to show some emotion. Maybe it’s because he doesn’t want to feel himself drown all alone in his feelings, maybe he just needs to bring someone down with him.

But he knows that he’s gone too far. He never thought he’d ever see betrayal written so explicitly across her face, that he’d be the one responsible.

May closes her eyes, just for a moment, but long enough for him to know that she’s making some kind of decision. Her eyes are pained, and she almost looks on the verge of tears. Nodding to herself, she turns from him, softly makes her way towards the door.

Reaching it, she turns back to face him.

‘You know, I thought we were past that Phil. But if you still can’t accept that everything I did was for you, then maybe it’s time that I leave. Maybe it’s best for us both, if you feel that way. I can’t stay a moment longer if you still feel this way.’

She drops her eyes from his, looks down at her hands.

‘I left once before. But even then, I didn’t stop watching your back.’

Suddenly, it’s as if she finds some remaining strength inside.

Looking up at him once more, she smiles sadly, ‘You wanted answers, and I got you them. Doing my job, watching your back-it’s the same thing to me. But if you can’t see that, well, I’ve got places to be. Places that aren’t here.’

With that said, she leaves. He’s left staring at the door, until something, some feeling, wakes him up from the shock. Without hesitation, he runs after her, calling to her.

When he catches up to her, she’s almost gone. Panting, he grasps her arm, makes her face him, as he catches his breath. When he looks at her, he can already see her walls coming back up, her features hardening. He knows exactly what she’s doing. She’s steeling herself, readying herself to face more of his anger.

And in that moment, all his anger at her, just fades away. Before him, he sees a woman so frightened of losing more of herself, that she holds it all back. He moves closer, and she flinches. That hurts more than anything. But he presses on, he needs her to stay, needs her to know how much she means to him.

‘I’m sorry. It’s just-I couldn’t bear to lose you. After everything we’ve been through…I don’t think I could cope. You mean everything to me.’  
He looks for any sign that she understands, and sees the hard facade softening.

‘I’m sorry I took out my worry on you. I didn’t mean it. I hope you can forgive me,’ he pleads, refusing to break their eye contact. She nods briefly, smiles gently.

He smiles, and repeats the words she once said to him, ‘You mean a lot to me. A lot.’

A lone tear traces her cheek, as she wonders, ‘You knew what I meant by those words?’ and his answering nod causes the brightest smile he’s ever seen to break across her face.

‘I love you,’ she whispers, and this time, he says it back.


End file.
